Thank you Rebecca, beautiful ! For me the inviolate self is reflected in nature, be it a new born lamb, the fresh new leaves on trees, spring flowers, a beautiful sunset or sunrise, a time to pause & think & experience the joy of our surroundings.
I welcome your new publication with great enthusiasm.
There is still a significant stigma in society when it comes to acknowledging childhood abuse, especially when it is verbal and stems from a narcissistic family environment. There is also a very limited understanding of what trauma truly means.
It is staggering how often the term is dismissed across various circles. I have heard many times the remark, "Oh well, we all go through trauma in our lives." It never fails to surprise me — and a part of me always wants to say, "Mate, you have no idea what you’re talking about."
I cover these topics on my blog as well, and it is a pleasure to meet someone who is ready to share personal storytelling, helping others through such openness and courage. For me sharing is a form of therapy.
I agree 100% with all you say here, Karina. "Staggering" is the right word. And for me, angering, or what I call 'righteous rage' - an anger that stems from witnessing / experiencing injustice. Abuse and fear of retaliation kept me silent for years; later I shared my story 'sideways' - via clinical writings or finding case studies I related to and sharing those. That's all going to change, beginning with my new publication here.
We are made mute in so many ways, those of us who have experienced systemic abuse, whether in or outside of one's family. Thanks for letting me know more about your blog - I just subscribed and look forward to reading your work in return.
Delighted to read your words Rebecca. Delighted to connect with somebody who … knows and understands. At times it is a pretty lonely journey as .. well we are opening areas people dismiss because of many many reasons. We are indeed made mute … it is a great word. I mentioned before in a post that most of my life I felt like the character from the famous painting Scream by A Munch! That silent, terrifying scream. The narcissists steal lives .. by talking we reclaim parts of ourselves! I look forward to reading your articles!
I use that Munch painting often as an analogy as well! Are you already subscribed to my primary Substack, Healing the Scapegoat Wound? My paid community is over there, but you can also subscribe for free. I have many articles there - the home page is https://familyscapegoathealing.substack.com. I also have a blog archive at https://www.scapegoatrecovery.com.
Hi Karina, yes I totally agree "sharing is a form of therapy". As Rebecca says we are "made mute" because that helps keep the FSA hidden and buried. I have also heard "oh it just needs time to heal" but the passage of time doesn't heal on it's own, far from it.
Dear Rosalee I hear you! Each time I hear oh give it time and you will heal or “oh dear just forgive and forget” I cringe and realise how little understanding is in the community! Most of the times such words re traumatise the victims and force them into silence.
I've struggled to name this for a very long time, trying on various labels that never felt right (for what seems like all my life). Very recently, I told myself that's okay. Something greater, higher power, universal energy, love, have all felt closest but still off somehow. I love the idea of an inviolate self! Thank you for elaborating on its meaning. 💖
You're welcome, Michelle. "There are many rivers that lead to the ocean." I also think of, "The Tao that can be named is not the Constant Tao." (Tao Te Ching) Glad that the concept of an inviolate self appeals to you!
This was oh so beautiful and poetic 🌿💓. For me the inviolate self is my true core, what brings me joy and life 🔥. To feel my feelings and accept that I am just as I am supposed to be 🙏
Simple - and powerful! Noticing what enlivens us is yet another means of supporting our journey of healing - More of 'that'; and less of that which deadens us (!)
Thank you Rebecca. For me the inviolate self is a sort of energy I have within. It was also a sense of wonder and curiosity I had as a child as I would wonder why things are as they are and how things work. This was despite being tossed around by the so-called "adults" I had to grow up with.
I love this description, Steve - yet another way to conceptualize / experience 'the inviolate self'. And my guess is that despite being tossed around within your family system, you retained that sense of wonder and curiosity and it has no doubt served you well.
Rebecca Such a beautiful piece that resonates deeply. The inviolate self means to me…. A place. A love. A spirit within that reflects the truth of who I am, who I’m becoming, and who I decide to be. They are all reminders that strengthen, nurture and encompass my core being and my worth. It is all of me living my values and being grounded in them. It is me knowing without a doubt who I am.
What a powerful definition! While reading it, I had this sense of containment, yet limitless, infinite expansion, all at the same time. The deepest, most profound truths are so often paradoxical, I find.
Beautifully stated Rebecca. It seems the inviolate self is the deepest, innermost part of who we are, the very soul of who we are. Our outer layers may take beatings but our soul or core remains pure and who we truly are.
Wonderful introduction, Rebecca. We too often forget about this deep space within ourselves, and the importance of connecting with it, let alone how to connect with it. Your piece reminds me of how much value there is in slowing down, breathing, and feeling a centered peacefulness regardless of external circumstances. I wonder how many of us have never experienced this part of ourselves. One thing abuse does to us is keep us so off-center and consumed with the nightmare that we forget this important sanctuary. Thanks for bringing attention to this.
I wonder this same thing, and I wonder if I had not had a felt-sense experience my own 'inviolate self' if I would even still be here. Fortunately I had a direct experience of this aspect of my being through a dream when I was 4 years old. I'll share more about that later but in certain ways that dream likely saved me.
I see the inviolate self as the part of me that keeps going when I feel like giving up. That part that keeps my heart beating, knowing that sun will rise again, that spring is here again
I love this. Your comment here reminds me of a painting I did over forty years ago. Wasn't sure what it was while I was painting it, but it turned out to be a female shadow figure on her knees slumped over in despair, but the outline of the curves of her slump were filled with a fire-y energy and it was in the shape of a human upper torso and head. This entity was keeping her from falling all the way flat out on the floor. So I thought of this as my 'inviolate self' - a source of strength - even then.
Your description of the painting sounds very much like what I had in mind. And I'm forty something, so I'm having goose bumps
When I posted my comment, I remembered a wise professor at the university, I remember her to this day. I had a very basic anatomy course and she talked about autonomous nervous system. How it goes about its business of keeping us alive, almost like a wise animal. And it keeps going even when we're miserable and feel like quitting altogether. Back then, of course, young and naive, I don't I really appreciated what it really means and how powerful it is.
We often talk about autonomous nervous system here, the 4Fs and the trauma response. I know we're often stuck in "our F", but still I feel grateful for surviving it all.
I hope to be covering some of this in the Livestream I'm planning with Aun Ali (Elephant in the Mirror), likely late May or early June - He's a trauma specialist (doctor by training) and a trauma survivor and knows a lot about dissociation.
Beautiful sensitive writing, Rebecca. I am happy to be here after many years that I call 'my captivity' a life, a long life in places I don't belong and with people who where not my 'my folk'. I feel 'mute' now. There is the death of my past and exspectancy for what is to come....but... Who is my inviolate self? I take one day at a time and let go to joy in simple pleasures...a brisk walk...a coversation with a lonely dog through the door of his locked apartment...a candel lit before sunrise.
Hi Gloria, I commented here (or on a duplicate comment?) but don't see it here. Did you ever see my reply to this? If not, I'll do my best to re-create it.
I can't remember it exactly, but I will say here that I really appreciated your comment - the emphasis on simple pleasures; the touching exchange with the (lonely) dog; the candle before sunrise... Also, I had selective mutism as a child. Looking back, I would have definitely been diagnosed as autistic, had anyone noticed. And even now, until recently, I have muted myself around the trauma I've experienced due to constant invalidation of my experiences since early childhood. So I was conditioned to be mute about the most important things, while developing a verbose personality as a young adult that masked my inner reality. These are the types of things I will be sharing on this new Substack. Glad you're here!
Thank you for replying. I can relate to the verbose personality that masked your inner reality. I would like to add to my comment about 'my folk' I almost wrote 'my tribe' but I hear drums when 'my folk' are gentle people willing to be vulnerable. Rebecca thank you for your courage to be vulnerable & invite us to join you. Powerful!
In Transactional Analysis, it is referred to as the Little Professor that grows with the child, as the child adapts to stress and strips versions of themselves, there is a little space where no-one can enter. An echo of what is possible once the environment is different, whispering 'don't forget'. I now remind myself of that echo and thank my brave, wise, disappointed inner child for staying with me and then I work out what I need to change in my environment to make it possible for my voice to be heard. Mother Nature sweeps me up when I am lost and reminds me all will be well, if I let her love me and when I do, I feel more accountable for my healing and reminded that I have prevailed against the odds. Thank you for normalising the 'wounded healers' archetype.
This is so beautiful, Miranda. Thank you for reminding me about this aspect of Transactional Analysis, I had forgotten the Little Professor. I love how you work with your inner child and also nurture yourself through being embraced (and reassured) by Nature. "All will be well..."
Many of us here have prevailed against the odds. I'm glad I can reflect the wounded healer archetype to some degree; I only hope to be able to remind people that they have their own healing force within, which often will reveal itself through dreams, flashes of insight, and bodily signals, when we begin to pay attention.
Yes, to be a clear reflection, of truth, without distortion. I don't know about you, but I literally can feel when someone is 'bending' (distorting / twisting) reality. I feel it almost as a physical sensation in my head - and in my gut. It's like the energetic reality pixels are not lining up and the picture is all garbled. I plan to do a Livestream on reality distortion and FSA sometime this year, btw.
What an intriguing topic! I never recognized it until you brought it to my attention but immediately I could think of all the times I was being gaslit and it felt like my face was being physically twisted into a spiral 🌀 like some kind of creepy filter or one of those fun house, distorted horror mirrors! 😱
I completely understand - I am a living, breathing Truth-O-Meter. Have been since my earliest memories. I’ll be discussing this more in some reflections on my new Substack publication, The Inviolate Self.
Great article, will be following! After doing so much reflection and work on myself, I too love the idea of The Inviolate Self. After a lifetime of people trying to take my freedoms away, I am enjoying myself. I freed myself from the narcissists in my life and cannot (and will not) unsee anything. At my core is light and love. No matter how hard they tried to destroy it, it's- still there. I love publications like this, it is so validating! The help and resources are out there, no excuses from me. To feel is to heal, and if not now- then when? Thank you Rebecca!
Lovely to have you here, Jill. Yes I think some of us just get to that point and it gets relatively easy to recognize what we are no longer willing to accept and what we no longer will align ourselves with. Glad you subscribed and hope to get to know you better here in the comments!
suffering can be so deep that it couldn't be other than something greater than our egoic:reduced consciousness. We've to expand, to go even deeper and larger than the suffering and connect with a kind of awareness that nature's taking care of even the fragilest blossom of an apple tree (so we can eat apples in fall)- to connect with the intrinsic love, care, attention and protection of life while touched by agression, compulsiveness, blindness, indifference, violence etc. To connect with the power of the light in our expanded hearts and souls, that dissolves our fears and paralysis, so that we stand up and discover that in that eternal light/fire we were and are always whole and healed.
Rebecca, thank you for writing about this. I have this vague connection that has been growing stronger as I focus on healing. As a child I could go still and marvel at the light shimmering in from a window, flecks of dust dancing in the air, the loving eyes of my dog looking up at me. I was connected to something larger and more beautiful than the circumstances of my life. I recently rediscovered these memories. The stillness and awe are trickling back into my life. This was always there, yet hidden behind the cares of the world. I find joy in connecting to it again, however fleeting the moments may be.
How beautiful, Amanda! This brought back memories from my childhood as well, where I felt connected to an ineffable ‘something’ within and without that contained and nourished me. I just posted an affirmation on the inviolate self over on my Healing the Scapegoat Wound substack. I’m thinking of sharing it with my subscribers here on The Inviolate Self as well as a gift.
The thing that's been hitting me lately is a grief. A deep grief that my parents and my husbands parents will never know us.
Through this hard slog of discovery and healing we are blossoming into our true selves and its beautiful.
These little innocent children (our inviolate self's) were consisenting shoved back down, like a tulip bulb just trying to bloom. But no matter how many times to now down a tulip it's still in the ground waiting to thrive and it DOES!
I adore you Rebecca and your courage. I feel like we are all so brave to keep up the pace and I'm not looking back.
Fabulous analogy. Mirrors the sunflower growing in arid ground that I used in one of my posts - or the post I'm sending out this Saturday, can't remember. So well said. As Mark Twain once wrote: "Courage is fear that has said its prayers". This community gives me strength to boldly go deeper into the expression of truth. Regarding grief: I have a chapter on Disenfranchised Grief in my book (Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed). Here's a video I did on this also from my YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/8iHfcWKsRis. And here's a poem by Rumi I recommend regarding Grief: https://sactoinsight.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Rumi-Bird-Wings.pdf. And in my last Livestream video, I discussed grief as well (you can do a search on the transcript): https://familyscapegoathealing.substack.com/p/systemic-aspects-of-family-scapegoating-abuse So that's your Grief Care Package from me!
On a browser, click on the three horizontal dots on the top right of your comment that you want to edit. On a mobile device, long press on the comment to edit.
Thank you Rebecca, beautiful ! For me the inviolate self is reflected in nature, be it a new born lamb, the fresh new leaves on trees, spring flowers, a beautiful sunset or sunrise, a time to pause & think & experience the joy of our surroundings.
That is lovely, June, I feel more relaxed just reading your comment and imaging I am witness to all you describe here!
Dear Rebecca,
I welcome your new publication with great enthusiasm.
There is still a significant stigma in society when it comes to acknowledging childhood abuse, especially when it is verbal and stems from a narcissistic family environment. There is also a very limited understanding of what trauma truly means.
It is staggering how often the term is dismissed across various circles. I have heard many times the remark, "Oh well, we all go through trauma in our lives." It never fails to surprise me — and a part of me always wants to say, "Mate, you have no idea what you’re talking about."
I cover these topics on my blog as well, and it is a pleasure to meet someone who is ready to share personal storytelling, helping others through such openness and courage. For me sharing is a form of therapy.
I agree 100% with all you say here, Karina. "Staggering" is the right word. And for me, angering, or what I call 'righteous rage' - an anger that stems from witnessing / experiencing injustice. Abuse and fear of retaliation kept me silent for years; later I shared my story 'sideways' - via clinical writings or finding case studies I related to and sharing those. That's all going to change, beginning with my new publication here.
We are made mute in so many ways, those of us who have experienced systemic abuse, whether in or outside of one's family. Thanks for letting me know more about your blog - I just subscribed and look forward to reading your work in return.
Delighted to read your words Rebecca. Delighted to connect with somebody who … knows and understands. At times it is a pretty lonely journey as .. well we are opening areas people dismiss because of many many reasons. We are indeed made mute … it is a great word. I mentioned before in a post that most of my life I felt like the character from the famous painting Scream by A Munch! That silent, terrifying scream. The narcissists steal lives .. by talking we reclaim parts of ourselves! I look forward to reading your articles!
I use that Munch painting often as an analogy as well! Are you already subscribed to my primary Substack, Healing the Scapegoat Wound? My paid community is over there, but you can also subscribe for free. I have many articles there - the home page is https://familyscapegoathealing.substack.com. I also have a blog archive at https://www.scapegoatrecovery.com.
"By talking". THIS is what our families don't want us to do!
Its ironic now that I've found a whisper of my voice I will not stop talking!
Those of us that were temporarily muted have so much to share. I personally want to hear every word from anyone in this community!
I love it! Journaling is a great release also - a witness to our own experience. You may already be doing this; I have a FSA-focused journal worksheet here (there's a public preview of it also for free subscribers): https://familyscapegoathealing.substack.com/p/the-transformative-benefits-of-journaling
Hi Karina, yes I totally agree "sharing is a form of therapy". As Rebecca says we are "made mute" because that helps keep the FSA hidden and buried. I have also heard "oh it just needs time to heal" but the passage of time doesn't heal on it's own, far from it.
And can even make it worse. For example, I minimized my own obvious trauma symptoms, thinking they would ease up over time, but they only got worse.
Absolutely agree Rebecca. I tried to bury major betrayal traumas inflicted by my sisters but doing so really took a toll.
Dear Rosalee I hear you! Each time I hear oh give it time and you will heal or “oh dear just forgive and forget” I cringe and realise how little understanding is in the community! Most of the times such words re traumatise the victims and force them into silence.
100% agree with this, see my reply to Rosalee above.
I've struggled to name this for a very long time, trying on various labels that never felt right (for what seems like all my life). Very recently, I told myself that's okay. Something greater, higher power, universal energy, love, have all felt closest but still off somehow. I love the idea of an inviolate self! Thank you for elaborating on its meaning. 💖
You're welcome, Michelle. "There are many rivers that lead to the ocean." I also think of, "The Tao that can be named is not the Constant Tao." (Tao Te Ching) Glad that the concept of an inviolate self appeals to you!
This was oh so beautiful and poetic 🌿💓. For me the inviolate self is my true core, what brings me joy and life 🔥. To feel my feelings and accept that I am just as I am supposed to be 🙏
Simple - and powerful! Noticing what enlivens us is yet another means of supporting our journey of healing - More of 'that'; and less of that which deadens us (!)
Yes, yes 👌👌
Thank you Rebecca. For me the inviolate self is a sort of energy I have within. It was also a sense of wonder and curiosity I had as a child as I would wonder why things are as they are and how things work. This was despite being tossed around by the so-called "adults" I had to grow up with.
I love this description, Steve - yet another way to conceptualize / experience 'the inviolate self'. And my guess is that despite being tossed around within your family system, you retained that sense of wonder and curiosity and it has no doubt served you well.
Rebecca Such a beautiful piece that resonates deeply. The inviolate self means to me…. A place. A love. A spirit within that reflects the truth of who I am, who I’m becoming, and who I decide to be. They are all reminders that strengthen, nurture and encompass my core being and my worth. It is all of me living my values and being grounded in them. It is me knowing without a doubt who I am.
What a powerful definition! While reading it, I had this sense of containment, yet limitless, infinite expansion, all at the same time. The deepest, most profound truths are so often paradoxical, I find.
Beautifully stated Rebecca. It seems the inviolate self is the deepest, innermost part of who we are, the very soul of who we are. Our outer layers may take beatings but our soul or core remains pure and who we truly are.
I agree with June, beautifully put, Rosalee thank you 😊🙏
100% Rosalee, so beautifully & perfectly put !
Wonderful introduction, Rebecca. We too often forget about this deep space within ourselves, and the importance of connecting with it, let alone how to connect with it. Your piece reminds me of how much value there is in slowing down, breathing, and feeling a centered peacefulness regardless of external circumstances. I wonder how many of us have never experienced this part of ourselves. One thing abuse does to us is keep us so off-center and consumed with the nightmare that we forget this important sanctuary. Thanks for bringing attention to this.
I wonder this same thing, and I wonder if I had not had a felt-sense experience my own 'inviolate self' if I would even still be here. Fortunately I had a direct experience of this aspect of my being through a dream when I was 4 years old. I'll share more about that later but in certain ways that dream likely saved me.
Thank you, Rebecca.
I see the inviolate self as the part of me that keeps going when I feel like giving up. That part that keeps my heart beating, knowing that sun will rise again, that spring is here again
I love this. Your comment here reminds me of a painting I did over forty years ago. Wasn't sure what it was while I was painting it, but it turned out to be a female shadow figure on her knees slumped over in despair, but the outline of the curves of her slump were filled with a fire-y energy and it was in the shape of a human upper torso and head. This entity was keeping her from falling all the way flat out on the floor. So I thought of this as my 'inviolate self' - a source of strength - even then.
Your description of the painting sounds very much like what I had in mind. And I'm forty something, so I'm having goose bumps
When I posted my comment, I remembered a wise professor at the university, I remember her to this day. I had a very basic anatomy course and she talked about autonomous nervous system. How it goes about its business of keeping us alive, almost like a wise animal. And it keeps going even when we're miserable and feel like quitting altogether. Back then, of course, young and naive, I don't I really appreciated what it really means and how powerful it is.
We often talk about autonomous nervous system here, the 4Fs and the trauma response. I know we're often stuck in "our F", but still I feel grateful for surviving it all.
I hope to be covering some of this in the Livestream I'm planning with Aun Ali (Elephant in the Mirror), likely late May or early June - He's a trauma specialist (doctor by training) and a trauma survivor and knows a lot about dissociation.
That sounds very interesting, looking forward to your Livestream
Beautiful sensitive writing, Rebecca. I am happy to be here after many years that I call 'my captivity' a life, a long life in places I don't belong and with people who where not my 'my folk'. I feel 'mute' now. There is the death of my past and exspectancy for what is to come....but... Who is my inviolate self? I take one day at a time and let go to joy in simple pleasures...a brisk walk...a coversation with a lonely dog through the door of his locked apartment...a candel lit before sunrise.
Hi Gloria, I commented here (or on a duplicate comment?) but don't see it here. Did you ever see my reply to this? If not, I'll do my best to re-create it.
I did not see your reply but I would like to see it.
I can't remember it exactly, but I will say here that I really appreciated your comment - the emphasis on simple pleasures; the touching exchange with the (lonely) dog; the candle before sunrise... Also, I had selective mutism as a child. Looking back, I would have definitely been diagnosed as autistic, had anyone noticed. And even now, until recently, I have muted myself around the trauma I've experienced due to constant invalidation of my experiences since early childhood. So I was conditioned to be mute about the most important things, while developing a verbose personality as a young adult that masked my inner reality. These are the types of things I will be sharing on this new Substack. Glad you're here!
Thank you for replying. I can relate to the verbose personality that masked your inner reality. I would like to add to my comment about 'my folk' I almost wrote 'my tribe' but I hear drums when 'my folk' are gentle people willing to be vulnerable. Rebecca thank you for your courage to be vulnerable & invite us to join you. Powerful!
In Transactional Analysis, it is referred to as the Little Professor that grows with the child, as the child adapts to stress and strips versions of themselves, there is a little space where no-one can enter. An echo of what is possible once the environment is different, whispering 'don't forget'. I now remind myself of that echo and thank my brave, wise, disappointed inner child for staying with me and then I work out what I need to change in my environment to make it possible for my voice to be heard. Mother Nature sweeps me up when I am lost and reminds me all will be well, if I let her love me and when I do, I feel more accountable for my healing and reminded that I have prevailed against the odds. Thank you for normalising the 'wounded healers' archetype.
This is so beautiful, Miranda. Thank you for reminding me about this aspect of Transactional Analysis, I had forgotten the Little Professor. I love how you work with your inner child and also nurture yourself through being embraced (and reassured) by Nature. "All will be well..."
Many of us here have prevailed against the odds. I'm glad I can reflect the wounded healer archetype to some degree; I only hope to be able to remind people that they have their own healing force within, which often will reveal itself through dreams, flashes of insight, and bodily signals, when we begin to pay attention.
For me, it is a very spiritual meaning. It means being freed from all the distortions and lies from the devil that kept me in bondage for so long.
Yes, to be a clear reflection, of truth, without distortion. I don't know about you, but I literally can feel when someone is 'bending' (distorting / twisting) reality. I feel it almost as a physical sensation in my head - and in my gut. It's like the energetic reality pixels are not lining up and the picture is all garbled. I plan to do a Livestream on reality distortion and FSA sometime this year, btw.
What an intriguing topic! I never recognized it until you brought it to my attention but immediately I could think of all the times I was being gaslit and it felt like my face was being physically twisted into a spiral 🌀 like some kind of creepy filter or one of those fun house, distorted horror mirrors! 😱
I use that fun-house / distorted mirrors analogy all the time - I think I even put it in my book (Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed)!!
Oh yes I think I remember that now too! Maybe there where the subconscious feeling arrived from and I forgot ha ha 😆
This thing happens to me when I'm being talked to by someone that isn't truthful or trying to twist.
My head will physically turn away and I can't control it.
I must break eye contact!
I completely understand - I am a living, breathing Truth-O-Meter. Have been since my earliest memories. I’ll be discussing this more in some reflections on my new Substack publication, The Inviolate Self.
Great article, will be following! After doing so much reflection and work on myself, I too love the idea of The Inviolate Self. After a lifetime of people trying to take my freedoms away, I am enjoying myself. I freed myself from the narcissists in my life and cannot (and will not) unsee anything. At my core is light and love. No matter how hard they tried to destroy it, it's- still there. I love publications like this, it is so validating! The help and resources are out there, no excuses from me. To feel is to heal, and if not now- then when? Thank you Rebecca!
Lovely to have you here, Jill. Yes I think some of us just get to that point and it gets relatively easy to recognize what we are no longer willing to accept and what we no longer will align ourselves with. Glad you subscribed and hope to get to know you better here in the comments!
suffering can be so deep that it couldn't be other than something greater than our egoic:reduced consciousness. We've to expand, to go even deeper and larger than the suffering and connect with a kind of awareness that nature's taking care of even the fragilest blossom of an apple tree (so we can eat apples in fall)- to connect with the intrinsic love, care, attention and protection of life while touched by agression, compulsiveness, blindness, indifference, violence etc. To connect with the power of the light in our expanded hearts and souls, that dissolves our fears and paralysis, so that we stand up and discover that in that eternal light/fire we were and are always whole and healed.
Stunning description. Your comment could be a meditation or affirmation all on its own. Thank you.
all thanks to you Rebecca, an ode to your courage and clarity and devotion
Rebecca, thank you for writing about this. I have this vague connection that has been growing stronger as I focus on healing. As a child I could go still and marvel at the light shimmering in from a window, flecks of dust dancing in the air, the loving eyes of my dog looking up at me. I was connected to something larger and more beautiful than the circumstances of my life. I recently rediscovered these memories. The stillness and awe are trickling back into my life. This was always there, yet hidden behind the cares of the world. I find joy in connecting to it again, however fleeting the moments may be.
How beautiful, Amanda! This brought back memories from my childhood as well, where I felt connected to an ineffable ‘something’ within and without that contained and nourished me. I just posted an affirmation on the inviolate self over on my Healing the Scapegoat Wound substack. I’m thinking of sharing it with my subscribers here on The Inviolate Self as well as a gift.
I think this might be my favorite affirmation so far and def think it fits here as well.
The thing that's been hitting me lately is a grief. A deep grief that my parents and my husbands parents will never know us.
Through this hard slog of discovery and healing we are blossoming into our true selves and its beautiful.
These little innocent children (our inviolate self's) were consisenting shoved back down, like a tulip bulb just trying to bloom. But no matter how many times to now down a tulip it's still in the ground waiting to thrive and it DOES!
I adore you Rebecca and your courage. I feel like we are all so brave to keep up the pace and I'm not looking back.
Fabulous analogy. Mirrors the sunflower growing in arid ground that I used in one of my posts - or the post I'm sending out this Saturday, can't remember. So well said. As Mark Twain once wrote: "Courage is fear that has said its prayers". This community gives me strength to boldly go deeper into the expression of truth. Regarding grief: I have a chapter on Disenfranchised Grief in my book (Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed). Here's a video I did on this also from my YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/8iHfcWKsRis. And here's a poem by Rumi I recommend regarding Grief: https://sactoinsight.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Rumi-Bird-Wings.pdf. And in my last Livestream video, I discussed grief as well (you can do a search on the transcript): https://familyscapegoathealing.substack.com/p/systemic-aspects-of-family-scapegoating-abuse So that's your Grief Care Package from me!
So many typos, I can't figure out the edit function.
On a browser, click on the three horizontal dots on the top right of your comment that you want to edit. On a mobile device, long press on the comment to edit.
💯Laura !